He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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