It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
