i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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