There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
