At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
