yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
pray to the hookup gods