Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing