a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.