So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
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Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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