You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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