the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
