Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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