I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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