wat bout pragnant strippers??
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
