Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks