I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
