The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
