yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Text me some of your sweat
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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