You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
