You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
