Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
