just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
