you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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