If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
