you're like a bully in the Christmas story
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
