I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I AM VODKA MAN
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
