Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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