did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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