Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
