had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize