whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
