I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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