and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
