i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
