Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
