I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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