i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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