the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i now understand why vodka
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
