Just fell off a train. Bad.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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