This dress was meant to end up on your floor
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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