So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he fucked my hip out of place.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
