Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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