if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
