im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
