I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
