wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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