My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
