remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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