this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
