Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she looked like the before picture.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
