I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
