i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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