is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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