He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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