it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
