Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
