I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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