Who did Billy Mays play for?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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