Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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