Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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