i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
