It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
