i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I stole a fireplace last night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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