toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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